Questionable Content
by Jacob's Reneesme
Summary: When you live with the world's deadliest people, who can tell if they're sane or not? Then again, you must ask yourself if YOU'RE sane for living with them. These are interconnected snippets.
1. Piercings

Questionable Content

I don't own Inuyasha or Naruto. They belong to their respectable authors.

This is a story that takes place in Naruto's world with Kagome being raised there.

These are a series of short, non-related one shots that are just fun to laugh. Beware there will be some vulgar language and some sexual references in at least every chapter.

~*Piercings*~

Kagome was staring at Pein. She had become suddenly interested in his piercings. She couldn't believe how many he had. She knew many guys couldn't pull it off but he could and he looked damn sexy with them. She also started wondering where all he was pierced at. She started daydreaming about a specific place he could be pierced at. She wondered if it hurt him, but discredited it because he's not known as Pein for anything less than what his name. She wondered what it would be like to look at that piercing. She couldn't help but drool and blush at the same time.

"Kagome, you're drooling." Pein said smirking. Oh he knew he was god's gift to women and men. He has always felt that was his place in the world. To grace men and women his presence even if he wouldn't bed them. Kagome might be the only exception. She's just like him, only a little teensy bitsy less attractive than him.

Kagome started to blush because she knew she was caught day dreaming about those piercings. Damn her mind for wondering about the sexy beast in her midst.

"So you like what you see, Ka-go-me?" Kagome started to blush a bright red. He just knew how to get her hot and bothered. He knew what she liked and that's how he managed to control her.

This got a chuckle from the only male in the room. Everyone was doing their own thing. Deidara was playing with clay, Konan was making paper things, Zetsu was doing who knows what. Itachi was making himself sexy, Kisame was stuffing his fish face, Kakuzu was counting his money. Hidan was bloodying up another carpet floor, Sasori was polishing his puppets, and Tobi was most likely bothering Deidara.

Kagome had the sudden urge to ask about the very piercings she was just daydreaming about, and so she did.

"Where are all of your piercings, Pein?" She asked shyly with a tint of red still placed on her cheeks.

This produced a smirk on his face. And the smirk only widened when Kagome gave him a curious look.

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes I do."

Pein laughed as he took off his shirt, showing his nipple rings and the corset on his back. He started to unbuckle his pants when he heard a shriek and looked up smirking.

"What… what are you doing?" said a stuttering Kagome. She was blushing a very dark red and she was having a hard time trying to breathe.

"You said you wanted to know where all my piercings were. I was just going to show you." He said with cunning grin.

"Well, I don't want to see your … Junk!" Kagome said.

Pein gasped and held his property. He had a look of hurt on his face. He can't believe that the girl who was almost as attractive as him would insult his manliness.

"This right here isn't junk. It's precious. It's what helps create the children I plan on having. It's beautiful," Pein said still holding his crotch. He looked down at himself and started talking to his member.

"It's okay little pein, she didn't mean to say such a horrible thing. You're not junk. She's jealous that she's not getting in on the action and fun we have together."

~*FIN*~

How was it? Tell me in a review if you like it please tell me if you don't tell me too but I must warn you. I don't respond to Flames. If I have any errors that need to be looked at also please let me know.

This was revised and I would like to thank WraithReeper and kittychic0895 for the reviews.

I would also like to thank my friend vampiric instincts. She helped me with the title and laughed at my crazy idea. :P ~ much love girlfriend~


	2. Religion

Questionable Content

I do not own any of the characters.

~*Religion*~

Kagome was sitting across from Hidan with a pamphlet in her hand. She was reading it while Hidan was explaining everything that was required. It seemed like a nice enough jester.

"Jashin will fucking make you immortal. He is the ultimate god. He won't take shit from any fucker that tries to fuck with his followers. What do you say? Would you like to join fuckin' awesome Jashin?"

Kagome looked up and stared into Hidan's eyes. He seemed so sincere in his belief. That he was so cute, if only he would control his tongue.

"What's in it for me?"

Kagome kept staring at his eyes. He has pretty eyes. They are pinkish purple. So unnatural, but yet so alluring.

"What the fuck do you mean what's in it for you, wench? What the hell do you think? You get fucking immortality." Hidan said with a grin on his face. It would be his biggest achievement to convert a former priestess to the dark world of Jashin.

"Hmmm not interested think of something else to allure me with, I mean you have to have other lines for recruiting people right?"

Kagome was hoping he could give her something worthwhile for this conversation so she can get back to practicing her archery.

Hidan gasped. He wasn't expecting this, he knew it might be a little challenge but really? Was he that terrible a convincing people to join Jashin?

"You get to kill people and live without having to worry about it."

Kagome scrunched her nose at that. She didn't like blood, actually she faints at the sight of blood. So this was just a waste of time but she thought she might as well give him a chance.

" Is there something like nice looking guys, a nice house, a cool weapon, or something to eat at the meetings?"

Hidan was visibly frustrated with this girl. She wasn't just asking if there were guys to look at? He's a guy. He's a SEXY guy. He was the sexiest one in the compound. That was for sure. Hell it takes him forever to stop starring at his sexiness in the mirror.

"I'm a sexy looking man, no house, no cool weapons you must provide your own, and no food at the meetings."

She was seriously getting turned off by this religion now. No house is provided, no cool weapons, and no food at the meetings? What the hell was wrong with these people?

~*FIN*~

Thankies to everyone.


	3. Origami

Questionable Content

~*Origami*~

Kagome was looking around at the stones. First she passed by her family's tombstones, then her former teammates and now her best friend's. It was hard to handle after the first few months. She was always thinking of her and how they became friends. How when no matter what problem it was big or small she was always there.

That thought got her to thinking about the time she asked Konan to teach her how to make paper cranes.

_It was around the second month she had been with the Akatsuki. She was their maid and cleaning lady because, who else would clean this mess if not her. What with all of Hidan's bloody religion and Tobi's horrible cooking exploding everywhere, it was no wonder why they hired her. _

_It just so happened to be on her day off when she went out seeking Konan. She has always wanted to learn origami. Tobi said that she was the one to talk to for that sort of stuff._

_So here she was in front of her door about to knock when she heard a quiet whisper._

"_Come in Kagome."_

_Kagome opened the door to see paper everywhere. It was like a disaster in there but a creative disaster._

"_Uhm… hi Konan. I was wondering if you could, uhm teach me origami? You know like those crane things out of paper."_

_Konan looked up and nodded her head. She motioned for Kagome to sit on one of the chairs in her room. She handed her a stack of papers and proceeded to show her how to fold them._

_To Kagome it was kinda awkwardly quiet. So she decided to break the silence._

"_Konan, have you ever gotten the urge to just grab a random man's junk? I get that feeling sometimes. I also get the urge to pat a man's ass and tell him "good Job" every time he does something I like. Have you ever experienced anything like that?"_

_Konan looked up from her crane to stare at Kagome like a deer in the headlights. She just didn't know how to answer that question, but god forbid Kagome didn't have a muzzle. _

"_Have you ever given a man a paper cut down in his personal regions? That would be very awkward because, I don't know what I would do if I did that to someone."_

_Konan's face went from white to red. She didn't know this woman but this woman was just asking her questions out of nowhere. _

"_Ne, Konan, am I doing this right?" _

_Kagome held out her hands only to show a very crinkly and odd shaped ball. _

"_I call it, the kitty play toy." Kagome smiled at her accomplishment and continued to ask the girl all sorts of sexually embarrassing questions._

Kagome looked at the tombstone and laughed at that memory. Boy did she have some problems when she became nervous around people. Luckily she worked on that with Konan, right after she helped her regain consciousness from lack of breathing.

They had some good times.

Kagome placed her kitty play toy on the tombstone and walked away.


	4. Eyes and a surprise

Questionable Content

~*Eyes for a surprise*~

Today was Kagome's and Itachi's day to get to know each other. She knew that he wasn't very expressive with his emotions, but she had to try at least get something out of him. He is a SEX GOD! Everyone knew it, hell women and MEN were vying for his attentions. It was like Itachi the sex god didn't care about their attentions.

Kagome didn't want to seem nervous but she was. It was all silence between them. She didn't know how to talk to him. I mean, how can one talk to a sex god? Well she was going to try to talk to one, and hopefully not make a fool out of herself.

"So… your eyes can predict other's movements, huh? I wonder that makes it easy for you to have sex." Kagome's eyes widen at what she just said. She face palmed herself in her head over and over again.

'I guess that's one way to talk to a sex god, apparently very sexually is the way to talk to them.' Kagome thought as she was mentally berating herself.

Itachi looked at her with amusement in his eyes. Oh how he was entertained by this very morsel of a woman. She just kept making a fool out of herself and it was quite amusing to him. Oh he's heard what the others have said about her "questions". He had prepared himself, and he was glad he did. The sharingan user didn't want to be caught off guard with that silly question.

"I'm so sorry I didn't mean…", the ditsy raven haired girl didn't get to finish her sentence when she felt a finger over her mouth. She looked down having to cross her eyes, making it rather cute for the Uchiha to resist. He chuckled.

"Yes it is easy to have sex with a predictable person. It might now be so easy with, let's say, you."

Kagome looked at him with wide eyes. She couldn't comprehend what he meant by that. She looked around to see if she was being pranked or something along those lines.

"What are you talking about?"

Itachi looked at her with a smirk. Oh he was going to surprise her if it was the last thing he would do.

"Let's play a game."

She gave him a curious look. What was he up to? This is going to either turn out deadly and dangerous or awkward and weird.

"What game?"

If that could make her more curious it did, because with that question came a larger smirk for a reply.

"We will be playing Truth or Dare."

This made her smile. She could possibly get him to tell his deepest darkest secret. The she thought, he could do the same. That is something she was going to risk.

"Okay, lets play."


	5. Truth or Dare part 1

I do not own anything other than what seems like a plot but idk what it is. Its just randomness : ) hehe.

If you have any flames please send them to my e-mail at idontreallycare yay . net.

If you have any worries please review and or e-mail me.

If you have any suggests do the same thing.

If you would like for me to shut up…. I'll do it without you asking heheh.

AND NOW WHAT YOU ALL HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR…. DA DADA DA!

Questionable Content

TRUTH or DARE Part 1.

Just as Itachi had said, they played a game of truth or dare. It had been fairly interesting thus far. Kagome kissing tobi, Itachi being stripped and given a pair of silky kitty boxers. It had been fun and they were just getting started. As they each were trying to stump the other they were getting more competitive as they went. It was now Kagome's turn and she had a good one. Well she thought it was good.

"Itachi-san, Truth or Dare?" Kagome looked at him expectantly.

"Hn, truth." Itachi gave the perky yet sly girl a sideways glance. He wasn't sure if he should've played this with her. He didn't know this mere teenager could possibly be so competitive. He started to feel weary when he saw a mischievous grin on her face.

"Say Itachi-san, do you have any sexy siblings?"

The Uchiha sighed. Here it was, another fangirl to the billions of others. He knew something like this would happen. He was sexy after all and his brother was almost on equal terms in that category.

"Hn, I have one sibling. He's not sexy, he is quite inferior compared to me."

Kagome looked at her play mate. This gave her an idea. She was sure it wouldn't back fire on her like every other plan she had. She'll relish this and show it to all of the other members.

"My turn, miko. Truth or Dare?"

Said miko looked up at the Sharigan user and spoke with confidence.

"Dare!"

This brought a smirk on Itachi's face. Oh how she would regret that so much.

"I dare you to hit your target."

Kagome grudgingly dragged a bow and a quiver of arrows with her to the practice area. Itachi had set up a target for her. She has ALWAYS been a terrible shot with anything. This was just torture. And if she misses, she doesn't even want to think about what she has to do. It's so horrible and nasty.

Kagome stood parallel to where Itachi was. She needed him here to know that she didn't stand at the target and just push it there. Which even then she would some how miss it, don't know how but she would.

As the priestess/maid knotched an arrow she concentrated on the target in front of her. She envisioned the arrow hitting her target. She took a deep breath and pulled back the string. As she inhaled again she aimed it at the target and fired.

As she fired her arrow she chanted her mantra of please hit the target.

When she opened her that didn't know she closed she found that not only did she miss the target that itachi had placed for her, but she also missed everything else. The only thing she got was the dirt.

The arrow had hit the ground before it reached the target.

Seeing her loss, she groaned and went to go rub a certain self proclaimed accountant's feet while he counted that same money that was supposedly part of her paycheck that she never saw a bit of.

After Kagome washed her hands for the fiftieth time, she walked back to the meeting area to continue their game. Itachi was in for it, if he thought that he would win this.

"Itachi, Truth or Dare!"

Itachi looked up from his spot in the grass and watched her walk in the clearing.

"Hn, dare." This caused the miko's smile turn into a Cheshire grin.

"I dare you to sing karaoke in front of the whole organization. If you don't do it, there is several bloody carpets for you to clean."

Kagome giggled at the slight widened eyes of the Uchiha. This will be entertaining.

After Kagome had gotten everyone in the gathering area in the base, she told them that today was a big performance by none other than the Uchiha Itachi.

As Itachi stood in the middle of the room with the microphone in hand, he hoped to the gods that it wouldn't be something embarrassing. But as usual the gods didn't help him out. The most embarrassing song had to be the one he had to do. So he did it…albeit off key but still did it.

**Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,****  
****So tell me what you want, what you really really want,****  
****I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,****  
****So tell me what you want, what you really really want,****  
****I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really****  
****really really wanna zigazig ha.**

This made the organization members laugh out loud as Kagome smirked. She knew exactly what to make him squirm. No guy liked the Spice Girls, especially a guy of his stature.

When Kagome had calmed down from the whole karaoke event, remembering ever one of the gang suggested songs for him to sing. He wound up singing things from Frank Sinatra, BOA, and even Brittney Spears.

She knew that if she was to choose dare at this moment she would be in for a punishment so she did the only wise choice.

"I choose Truth."

Itachi looked at her like he always did with his perverse blank eyes that seem to undress her with his knowledge and sometimes without him knowing it. Then it hit him in the head, or rather the eyes, because of the way he staring at her, anyways, he knew the perfect question to ask her.

"Do you watch porn?"

Unfortunately Kagome was drinking something at the time, so she choked on it upon hearing the question. She tried to catch her breath so she could answer it.

As soon as she calmed down with her choking and was able to breath, she looked at Itachi with pleading look but didn't get any sympathy.

"I'm still waiting Kagome." Itachi tapped his foot on the ground like he was impatient or something. Not that it was the case, because he being from the Uchiha bloodline gave him patience. He could wait things out for days on end without moving… well that wasn't completely true. He had to move or he'll get sore. He was still patient for it.

"I, uhm well you see. I don't actually watch it… okay that's a lie I have before, but I don't like it? No, no I don't like it one bit. Okay maybe a little bit. The guy's buttocks is just too nice to not watch. I mean… damn."

Kagome really put her foot in her mouth this time. She didn't think she could get out of this one anytime soon, seeing as the cocky Uchiha bastard was smirking as if he knew she did.

Then a sudden thought hit her. He had been looking on her computer! He would've had to in order to know this. Oh she was doomed for all eternity.

How do you like this? Review for me PLEASE!

Dedicated to vampiric instincts.


	6. Truth or Dare Part 2

Ahahaha! That was an awesome response to that itachi chappy. Well here's a surprise. MORE ITACHI! :P I hope you like it.

Questionable Content

Truth or Dare part 2

****33333******

Kagome was now out for blood. She now knew that Itachi looked at her computer to figure out if she watched porn. Now she was gonna make sure he got what was coming to him, and hopefully be able to contain the drool she knew that was going to happen if he chose dare. If he didn't then, she would have to figure out something else.

"Itachi, Truth or Dare?" Kagome bit her lip waiting for him to choose.

Itachi watched as she bit her lip and wondered what she was thinking of. It was probably some girl thing that he didn't want to know.

"Dare."

Kagome's eyes went wide as her wish was granted. She almost did a happy dance and kiss Itachi on the lips but she withheld that urge, because that would just give him an idea that she didn't want.

"I dare you to find your brother and kiss him on the lips. No quick one it's got to be a good one with tongue and everything." Kagome finished with a smirk only for it to drop at seeing Itachi's.

"As you wish, but I dare you to come along with me on this 'mission.'"

Kagome's eyes went wide and she face palmed. She KNEW that if the gods were with her on something then there was a catch, because the gods loved to torture their favorite priestess.

****3333****

Kagome, Kisame, and Itachi were all going to find Sasuke, so he could finish this dare. Kisame wanted to tag along so he could film it. Kisame was a scary and annoying guy. So she stayed on the side of Itachi that DIDN'T have a psycho shark.

While passing through a town, Itachi stiffened and looked around before spotting his brother. He motioned for the other two to follow him.

"Do you think he spotted a sexy lady?" Kisame asked wondering what to think of this sudden change.

Kagome shook her head and giggled. "Nah Sushi-san, I think he found something to crave his appetite."

"SUSHI? I'm not sushi, I'm a shark!" He glared at the maid.

"Oh now you're a cannibal? Gotcha now I'm gonna call you Cannibal-san!"

This got a growl from the shark man, only to have him shoved into the dirt by the elder Uchiha.

"Kisame, shut it. I see my brother."

Kagome looked around until she saw a tall muscular guy with midnight black hair and black eyes staring at Itachi.

"Itachi, is this your brother?" Kagome asked only to receive a nod from said Uchiha.

Nothing else was said until the younger of them all walked up. He scrutinized the shark man with distaste. He looked over the girl with a glint in his eye.

"So brother, what do I owe this pleasure of being in your presence?"

Itachi narrowed his eyes at the look Sasuke keeps sending the priestess. She's already uncomfortable as it is.

"I came to complete a dare." And without another word he descended upon Sasuke's lips. This caused him to gasp at the sudden contact. This gave Itachi the perfect opportunity to sweep his tongue in and taste his little brother.

Kagome elbowed Kisame knocking him out of his daze to film the two Uchihas. Both watched as the intensity grew and diminished. When they broke apart Sasuke looked directly at Kagome and winked.

"Would you like to join us, bishoujo?"

****333333******

Yay finally another update!


	7. Selochophobia

Questionable Content

~*~Selochophobia~*~

Kagome had just woken up from her nap in the living room at the base. She had cleaned everything and especially cleaned Hidan's room. She couldn't understand that man. He was always bloodying the floor. It was like this guy wants to be a girl with a period.

She looked around and spotted the only member of the Akatsuki that frightened her. She just had to be scared of this guy. The teeth and the skin were just scary. She just couldn't stand being with him alone, because it brought forth her fear.

She noticed that not only was he looking at her, but he was grinning too, a feral grin that brought a scream out of her mouth and causing Kagome to run out of the room in fear for her life. This left a confused Kisame in the room alone.

*33*

Kagome had been avoiding Kisame all day. She didn't want to see him or hear anything from him. She knew when she was younger she shouldn't have watched Jaws with her father, but there was something about it that drew her in. Now in her age she's scared of sharks. No, not scared, terrified.

As she was hiding she didn't notice a blue figure moving towards her hiding spot. Nor did she realize that she was found out.

"Miko-chan, why do you avoid me?"

Kagome's back stiffened, and she felt her fear overcome her. She screamed again and ran away yet again. Letting her fear fuel her, she ran towards the most unlikely of heroes she could seek out.

*33333*

"There, there little Neko-chan, it'll be okay. The big bad shark man won't find you here."

Madara looked down at the little scared priestess. She hugged him close and ruined his shirt with her tears. He didn't know why she chose him of all people to run to but she did.

"Now, tell Madara-kun, why you fear Sushi-san?" He knew this was very unlike him but it was the only way he could think of getting through to this girl.

"H…h…he's a s…s…sh…ark!" Not only did this statement bring a whole new onslaught of tears but also another box of tissues for her to use.

"Neko-chan, what about him being a shark is it that you fear?"

She looked up and sniffled. "The teeth…and the way they swim around looking for prey…and he looks like IT!"

She pointed to the video that was near his television. He placed the sniffling girl in his chair and walked over to the video case of the movie Jaws.

When he saw it he face palmed, this was the only reason that she was scared. A fictional shark that terrorized people in the movies was her fear creator.

"So you're scared of Jaws, Neko-chan?" This got a nod and more tears from the scared woman.

He sighed and picked her up placing her back in his lap. He was going to have to restrict Kisame's time with his Neko-chan if she was going to be like this.

**333***

Yay another chappy up!


	8. Waiting

Questionable Content

This has a lemon in it… so you've been warned.

Waiting

Kagome had almost recovered from her freak out day with Kisame. Now she was still hiding from him because no matter what Madara said, Jaws still tried to find her. So she decided to hide under Zetsu's bed.

Why his bed? Well there were a multitude of reasons. It was comfy, it was away from Kisame, and she always wanted to see him naked. But the first two were the primary reasons for her.

While she was getting comfortable, she noticed a notebook of sorts. So, she being the nosey person she is, opened it only to reveal an array of Pokémon cards. She didn't know that he had a thing for them.

Her mind wondered as she looked at the alphabetized and categorized cards. She could only think of what he would do if he ever got laid. He could be the type to have her yell out a Pokémon name during a climax!

It was right then when she heard the door open and footsteps walking towards the bed. She kept as quiet as one could be under a dusty bed. Not thinking that Zetsu was the type of person to jump on the bed. So when he did it caused the dust that was on the floor to spring to life thus tickling her nose.

She tried to hold in the sneeze but she couldn't do it. It blew her cover.

"How did a little bird get under my bed?" said white Zetsu before looking her in the eyes as she tried to crawl out of the war zone of dust that was causing her to sneeze manically.

"Oh well, I was getting hungry anyways," said a smirking black Zetsu.

She knew she was in trouble then. She had to somewhat explain why she was there in the first place and try to push her thoughts away.

"Uhm, well you see, eh, i was...checking to see if there was dust under here to be cleaned! Guess there was! I'll be going now..."

And with that she bolted out of the room away from the smirking plant user.

******TY*****

Kagome had finally gotten away from the psychotic multiple personality plant man and still managed to hide from the scary shark dude. She hid in the most inconspicuous place that people wouldn't look for people at, the wonderful bath tub, well more like a gigantic hot spring.

She sat back against the ledge of the hot spring and closed her eyes enjoying the feel of the hot water on her skin. This left her vulnerable to the figure that had been camping out in the water for an hour until she got there. He knew she would come in at some point.

When he heard her come in he sank down into the springs and waited her out like the prey she is. She wouldn't know what had bit her until it was too late.

When he felt that she was completely relaxed, he swam to her legs and gently spread them open. He smirked at what he saw, a completely hairless prize just for him to take at this moment.

Leaning forward, he let the tip of his tongue run up her slit, causing the female to jerk, and raise herself out of the water to sit on the edge. Looking down into his heated eyes as he surfaced, her face flushed crimson.

"You...did you just...but you were..."

Her mind went blank when he moved between her still spread legs and began licking her attentively, sliding his long tongue between her 'lips' eagerly with each pass of his tongue. He enjoyed the taste of her. It was something that he's wanted for as long as she's been with the Akatsuki.

Kisame placed his mouth over her nub and sucked on it bringing forth a loud moan. He took his calloused hand and placed a finger at her entrance rubbing all around it wanting to make her beg for it. He had no clue as to what she was currently thinking, that was if she was thinking.

Kagome had regained control of her mind and was currently wondering what to do. Should she continue, or should she just be like 'no fishy' and run? Then a thought hit her, what if she did like those porn stars did? Oh she was gonna have fun with this and get pleasure from it. So it is a two for one deal.

As he sucked again on her pearl he wasn't expecting what he heard.

"Oh, yes Big Papa Shark. Mmm That's just right."

As she was saying this she was thinking about the jobs she had to do the next day, such as cooking and cleaning. Well that was until she felt something probing inside of her.Her mind went blank as the man before her continued to drive all thoughts from her mind.

Kisame wanted to hear more of that sexy talk. She was the first one to ever call him 'Big Papa Shark' and he particularly liked it.

He gave her a feral grin, before leaning back down to continue sucking, slowly pumping his finger as she began to squirm against him. He growled as he felt her squeeze around his digit tightly, and added a second finger, curving them up slightly as he pumped, causing her to shudder as his nibbled carefully on her pearl, making her lose all train of thought completely. Adding a third, he continued to pleasure her until he felt she was getting close. With a final lick to the flushed nub, he pulled away entirely. Hearing a protesting whimper from Kagome, he smirked and trailed his mouth up her stomach to her breasts.

Kagome lost all thoughts that entered her brain as she was too focused on the pleasure she was receiving. It was clouding what she had planned especially when he entered her.

"That's it _Big _Papa Shark. Harder, please."

He complied to her demand, giving her the satisfaction of feeling the fire build to the point that it was about to explode. One more thrust sent her over the edge causing her to gasp at the intensity of it.

Kisame felt her clamp on him causing him to lose what little control he had left.

When both had calmed down from their workout of the day, they looked at each other with different looks. Kisame's was a look of pure content, and Kagome's was a look of awkwardness.

"So uhm… I have to go uhm clean… some more… I'll see you around some time…"

Kagome gathered her things at lightning speed and bolted to her room.

***Two Weeks Later***

Kagome came running into Madara's room screaming at the top of her lungs. He didn't know what was going on and something told him that he probably didn't want to.

"Madara… I want my own hot springs."

This caused him to look at her in question. This had never been an issue up until now. Something must have occurred for her to make such a suggestion.

"Why, Neko-chan?"

Kagome huffed and glared at the door like it was someone she wanted dead.

"Because that Shark freak show wants me to have his baby sharklings!"

It would definitely cause a problem with the organization if those two had children.

***YAY!****

Whoo hoo finally. Please review and tell me what you think about this.


	9. Money

Questionable Content

Money

**TY**

Kagome had looked everywhere for some bleach to clean the white carpets that have been bloodied by Hidan. She even asked the members if they knew where some was and all gave her the same answer, no. So she had to the one thing that everyone didn't want to do, and that was asking Kakuzu for money.

She went on a search for the sneaky greedy man, though it wasn't a hard search considering he's always at a table counting money.

"Kakuzu…uhm… I was wondering if I could… uhm have twenty dollars… for uhm cleaning supplies?"

Kakuzu looked at her like she had grown another head and it was retarded looking.

"No."

This caused Kagome's jaw to drop. She thought for sure she could get twenty dollars for fucking cleaning supplies.

"Why not!"

If he said something stupid she was gonna have an aneurism. She just needed this so Hidan wouldn't make try to redecorate the whole place with his blood.

"Bills need to be paid."

Her eyes narrowed and her fist clenched. He was already pissing her off. Oh now she was going to give it to him.

"Its twenty dollars! For the love of god, this is so we have a nice CLEAN base with NO blood."

"No."

That was it. She just reached the last straw.

"Fine then, I'm gonna steal twenty dollars and let Hidan do his ritual in your room from now on!"

So she took a twenty and stormed out of the room marching straight towards Hidan's room.

"Hidan, the greedy man's room is now free reign for your ritual. Actually, that's the best place to get kill yourself. I hear the carpets more comfortable there."

And she walked away from his door straight to the store for the bleach she needed.

**YAY**

I would like to make a special mention to vampiric instincts that helped me with the lemon in the last chapter. That was my first lemon… so any pointers will be welcomed with open arms.


	10. Thong

Questionable Content

Thong

**TY**

Kagome looked everywhere but she couldn't find it. She couldn't believe she lost it. This is something that shouldn't be lost in a base full of MEN! Oh this wasn't good at all. Where did she put it?

Her drawer contents were thrown around the room searching for the one piece of clothing that she was in need of. This was the last article of clothing she had from her bachelorette party. Yeah, she never went through with the wedding but she still liked this thing. It was comfortable.

Meanwhile in another part of the base the exuberant blond held a piece of cloth in his hands. He had been doing his laundry and found this in the dryer. He knew who it belonged to but there was no chance in hell that he was going to give it back. This was his prize, his find and he wasn't going to part with it.

He smiled as he placed it in his pocket knowing the female is probably searching for this item. This black lacey thong that was worn by the female that's not even a shinobi, is now his. He will enjoy this for as long as he lived.

**whoo*

YAY! I want to thank Whispering Kage for her prompt suggestion.


	11. Zombie!

Questionable Content

Zombies

**TY**

Kagome was flipping through the channels on the television when she came across a movie that had zombies. She was so into it that she didn't know someone had walked into the room and sat down beside her. Nor did she notice that this someone was watching her intently.

"Why are you watching this?"

Kagome jumped at the voice, turning towards it only to scream her head off. She ran and hid behind a chair that blocked her and the zombie man from getting closer to her. She can't believe that she let her guard down because of a stupid zombie movie.

"Stay back… you… you ZOMBIE!"

This was the scene that Itachi came in on. He had heard her scream and had rushed here as fast as he could. There were only five people on base tonight and the other two were having their "alone" time.

"Sasori, stop scaring the miko."

Kagome jumped again at hearing the newcomer. She looked at him for just a second before tackling him.

"You see him too?"

Itachi merely nodded before carrying her out of the room to get her away from the "zombie" she keeps mumbling about.

***TY***

Thankies to Whispering Kage for the prompt! Give 'er a big round of applause. Also I owe a lot to vampiric instincts. She's just awesome in helping me with everything.


	12. Hurting and a Dog

Questionable Content

Hurting and a Dog

***TY***

Kagome had been doing her ritual cleaning like she does every day, when she saw a little white dog jogging towards her. She knelt down scratching the dog behind his ears.

"Well, hello little cutie, where did you come from?" She said while smiling a huge grin.

The dog barked and licked her face. That was when she noticed something on its collar. She plucked it from the collar to see that it was a note addressed to her. She pocketed the note and looked at the dog.

"Are you hungry cutie?" She was responded by a loud bark.

"Alright! Let's go get you something to eat."

**TY**

After feeding her new friend Fluffy, she went out to the gardens with him to open up her letter. She looked at the cute dog beside her and gave him a kiss on the head before opening it up.

_To: Kagome _

_From: You're Inu._

This caused her to pause. He couldn't be writing to her, not after the whole leaving her at the altar fiasco.

She unfolded the note and started reading, not believing what she was seeing. He was already married with a child on the way. He stated how they met and why he couldn't marry her. She just couldn't believe her eyes. He wanted to tell her all of this stuff after the whole stunt he pulled?

She dropped the note and started crying her eyes out. She couldn't believe the betrayal she felt. She couldn't believe how much she loved him and not know why she still did. Yeah, now she's got a lot of crushes on the guys here, but it just isn't the same as what she feels for Inuyasha.

The little dog nudged her elbow and sat around in her lap, giving her comfort in a way she needed. It was like this dog knew what she needed and that was someone to cry on.

She had cried herself to sleep hugging the dog to herself in the gardens.

This is what Madara had stumbled upon when he came out for fresh air. He looked at the animal that was glaring at him, daring him to hurt her. Madara didn't say anything to the dog because when he was about to say something the note that Kagome had dropped caught his eyes. He picked it up and started reading it, making him angrier with each word he read. This is what had hurt his Neko-chan, this is what made her come to him for work, this is her reason for leaving behind everything she knew and held dear.

He crumbled up the letter and set it on fire causing it to go to ashes in mere seconds. He moved to pick up his Neko-chan when he heard a feral growl.

"I have no intention of harming her, dog. I was merely going to take her to her room where she will be more comfortable. She would also feel very embarrassed if someone other than me had come across her in this state."

The dog seemed to understand him and allowed him to do as he intended. Once Madara had her in his arms, he motioned for the dog with his head.

"Come, you may stay with her and keep her company. She will need it when she wakes up."

With that they both walked off towards her room to wait until she wakes up.

***TY***

This was a particularly hard chapter to write. It brought a lot of tears writing it. Even if its short. Please review.


	13. Numb

Questionable Content

Numb

**TY**

Kagome has holed herself up in her room with only Fluffy as company. She didn't want to see anyone. Not in the state she was in. She just wanted to cry and feel the pain of betrayal alone. It has been so long since she's cried, she just couldn't stop.

Fluffy nudged her hand away from her face and licked her face. He didn't like seeing her like this. It was because of that mangy half breed that she was hurt. She didn't deserve this. He decided it was time for her to truly give up on the mutt.

He transformed in to his humanoid self, straddling her. He smirked when he heard a gasp and dove in for a kiss.

Meanwhile the other occupants of the base had gathered around to discuss what to do about this. They couldn't stand her being isolated within her room. They didn't know what was wrong with her, other than Madara of course, but he wasn't saying anything.

"I'm fucking tired of hearing that shit she's playing in her room. It's driving me fucking insane!"

Hidan waved his hand erratically to emphasize his point.

"It's all Cascada this and Country music sad songs that. I might just tear off her fucking door and just break her damn radio."

Everyone seemed to agree, well not Madara because he hasn't said anything at all really.

**TY**

"Mmmm Sesshoumaru…"

Kagome was finding it very hard to think about her pain and her sadness through not only his wonderful tongue but also his skillful hands.

Sesshoumaru growled very pleased by her response to his ministration. He was going to make sure that she didn't remember anything of his bastard of a brother.

"Fluffy…"

**TY**

"I honestly think flowers will work better than thongs Deidara. Thongs can be so insensitive and she's already isolated, we don't want her to be more so than now."

Deidara glared at the plant freak. Deidara knew what she liked, and that was thongs.

"I know what she likes, un. She likes thongs, un!"

Zetsu locked eyes with the explosive man. Girls like flowers. All the books he's read about plants stated so.

"Flowers will be more appropriate!"

**TY**

Sesshoumaru grunted as he felt her tongue massage his shaft. He was on the verge of jumping her and ravishing her lovely body from now until they get too tired to move.

She took him into her mouth and followed the lyrics of the song that was playing in her head. "Li-li-li-lick me like a lollipop" was running on a non-stop basis right now.

"Hn…mmm."

**TY**

"Money is what she needs from us. She needs cleaning supplies for your stupid bloody messes that you leave around you dumb religious freak."

Kakuzu said this while counting his money. He needed to make sure no one had stolen his money since he counted it last.

"No way, you greedy fuck. She needs a rosary. She was and is a Miko! DUH!"

Hidan yet again waved his hands around trying to make his point.

**TY**

Kagome can't believe how blown her mind is getting right now. She never thought this would happen in her wildest dreams. She was having sex with the brother of the guy she was going to marry, and it didn't feel awkward at all.

"Mmmm more Sesshou."

She wanted more of what he was doing to her body, and damnit she was going to make sure he kept it up.

**TY**

Sasori looked at the leader who was sterilizing his piercing needles. He was hoping that their fearless leader wasn't going to pierce Kagome. She looked fine without a lot of holes in her body.

"What are you doing?"

Pein looked up at him and smirked. "I'm readying my needles for the pain that will replace her pain."

Sasori actually facepalmed at his statement, he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I'm going back to work on my puppets for her." With that he continued painting his puppet.

**TY**

Sesshoumaru had finally lost the reigns that were holding him back. He wanted her under him in every possible way imaginable, and he was going to make sure it happened.

He slammed into her feeling her clamp onto him as another one of her orgasms racked through her body. He didn't leave her much time to recover as he kept pounding away in her body, trying to reach his own release.

**TY**

"Itachi, I'm telling you the truth. All she needs is sex. Sex is the best medicine."

The shark man grinned as he started imagining all the different positions he wanted to do with the little tiger shark.

"Kisame, the Miko needs chocolate, not sex. Chocolate is what most women crave when they are upset or want to be alone."

Itachi was currently making a tiny chocolate sculpture for his miko.

**TY**

Madara couldn't figure out the stupidity of the people he brought recruited. Neko-chan just needs time with a friend from the past and he was probably making sure she forgot the terrible pain she was in.

Like any of the others, he didn't want to see Neko-chan upset or holed up in isolation, but if that's what she needs then so be it.

There was a crash that caused him to look up at what broke, and he saw what looked to be a fight occurring. He sometimes wondered why he dealt with these people.

"Idiots!"

**TY**

They were both on the edge of their release, both lost in their thoughts that they didn't realize the knocking on the door.

Right when the door opened, the felt both of their climax's hit them full force. Neither noticed the group of men watching in fascination.

It was only until after they both calmed down that they noticed their audience. Kagome scrambled for the sheets looking for modesty even though they saw her fully nude.

Kisame was the one that spoke first.

"Itachi, see. All she needed was sex and she'll feel a lot better."

**TY**

Soooo, tell me whatcha think. UHM… second lemon… so pointers are welcomed but flames are not. Enjoy.


	14. Jealousy

Questionable Content

Jealousy

*TY*

Kagome was bouncing in her seat watching Madara pace back and forth. She didn't know what he was flustered about but it was entertaining watching him talk to himself, flailing his arms everywhere. It was very comical.

Madara of course didn't find it funny because she has been spending a lot of time with that dog. It was like she was in love with him or something, but she couldn't be. He won't let her be. She belonged to him. He was the one to hire her and he was the one that she belonged to. She should love him.

"You are forbidden from seeing the dog."

Kagome's head snapped up to look at him. She just didn't hear him say what she thought she heard.

"No."

"Yes, you will not see that dog, ever again. He will be going back to where he came from."

This statement caused the little maid to gain a tick on her head. There was no way she was complying with this demand.

"No. You're just jealous of Sesshoumaru, because he's competition that you don't want to deal with. You didn't say anything when Kisame was trying to impregnate me with baby sharks. You know why? Because he's BLUE! Whereas Sesshoumaru is a sexy dog and is pure competition with your sexiness."

Madara looked at Kagome for a few minutes and then pounced on her. He couldn't believe that she said it. She said the thing that made him want to kick every man out of the compound.

"You really think I'm sexy?"


	15. Dress up

Questionable Content

Dress up

Sasori was polishing his puppets when Kagome came in his room to start cleaning. He knew she avoided him because he was a "zombie". So he didn't bother her as she cleaned his room. He could tolerate her perfectly fine. She didn't keep people waiting; he wasn't one for patience. He liked having things done right when they were suppose to be done.

He stopped what he was doing to watch her. She had stopped cleaning when she found some rather feminine clothes and was trying them on. She found his mirror and was posing to see if she looked good.

"Those are clothes for my female puppet."

This cause Kagome's eyes to bug out, she didn't think they were for his puppets. She thought they were something of his mother's that he wanted to keep.

"So you're saying, that the clothes I'm dressing up in is the clothes of your zombie army?"

This received a nod.

She screamed and ran out of the room.

He smirked. She was so easy to have fun with. Those clothes were actually Konan's. He wouldn't tell her that he has only male puppets, nor will he tell her anything that will make her cosy up to him. Her being afraid of him was entertaining in itself.


	16. Easter

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or Naruto!

A/N: Yay! I have updated : )

Questionable Content

Chapter 16: Easter

In the kitchen there was a mess of paint and egg shells and paper. The sound of clattering paint brushes and music filled the air. Kagome was painting Easter eggs that she had boiled and laid out to dry. She stole Sasori's paint brushes and paint, Konan's paper and Kakuzu's money to buy the eggs!

None of the Akatsuki ever thought that she was into the holiday spirit, but then again they didn't really know her all that well. With each egg painted another was waiting for its chance to have a colorful blending.

When all the eggs were painted and dried the little priestess wrapped them in colorful packaging and placed them each in the Akatsuki's rooms. None of the members would expect it when they get back in a few minutes.

As Kagome was putting everything away a hand snaked its way around her waist and brought her to the person's chest, causing her to look up.

"Hey Madara-kun! I have a surprise for you in your room!" she said while removing his arm. She skipped to the living room waiting for everyone to realize what was in their rooms.

It was just then that she remembered the outdated cartoon of eggs she had to throw away. So as she was looking in the kitchen she paled. Uh oh, she painted the rotten eggs and placed them in the room of two unsuspecting evil beings. Let's hope that Hidan and Kisame don't eat them!

With that thought Kagome skipped around the halls until she heard duel voices yell.

"What the Fuck!"

She paled for a second time that day and ran towards Itachi's room and hid under his covers until the war had subsided outside.

End of chapter

Sorry for the extremely late update. If you are concerned why I haven't updated look at my profile : )


	17. Travel Plans

I would like to apologize again for not being a proper author and updating my stories regularly. I am not sure when I will get a computer but I will have one soon. As of right now I am borrowing a friend's.

Whelp onwards to the next chapter.

Questionable Content

Chapter 17: Travel Plans

The day started off with a pacing miko in the infamous office of the leaders of the Akatsuki. The leaders were out in the city causing mischief with the town's people. It was a site to see really the so called "serious" leaders were nothing but a group of children. That's beside the point. Kagome had been pacing and waiting oh so patiently for the leaders to return so that she may ask for her request. She has been overdue on vacation and needed time to travel and see sights she hasn't seen in what felt like forever.

It wasn't until the 250th pace did she get a startle when the door slammed open with a couple irate leaders following.

"Neko-chan? What are you doing in here?"

The impatient miko huffed while placing her hands on her hips.

"I was waiting for you two to show up so I could ask for a favor."

The leaders looked at one another and silently raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"What kind of favor miko-chan?"

Kagome looked at them and lost all confidence in how she was going to ask them this particular favor.

"Uhm… you see, it has been a while since uhm… I've seen my family and I was wondering uhm… if you wouldn't mind if I could go see them for maybe a couple of weeks…"

She started to stare at her shoes moving them back and forth while the leaders looked at each other.

"You may go Neko-chan on one condition. That condition is a must considering there are many who are enemies of us and wouldn't think twice about obtaining information about us from you."

Kagome looked up and smiled at first but then furrowed her eyes as the black headed leader continued to speak.

"What is this condition Mada-kun?"

"At least two people have to accompany and stay with you while you are there."

Kagome looked up and smiled brightly again. She nodded her head and skipped up to the two men and hugged them tightly and skipped off to find someone to travel with her.

*33333*

It had been a week since the office visit and travel plans were set for today to head to her home village. She had decided to bring Sesshoumaru since it was his home as well and Deidara. Sesshoumaru decided to travel in his dog form because it would be less conspicuous than in his regal human form.

As the three were setting off, Kagome turned around and waved only to see a pouting Madara. He wanted to come along because he was not only jealous of her traveling alone with Sesshoumaru but also Deidara the closest closet pervert he knew.

She turned back around smiling at the scene and skipped infront of her two companions.

*333*

It took them a week to get to her home village of Edo in Demon Country. It is a simplistic village with basic things really nothing to over the top. She ran towards the village as soon as it came into sight. She was so excited to be home again even if it was for a couple of weeks.

When she began running Deidara started yelling at her.

"Hey! Wait up, yeah!"

Kagome only giggled and continued running into the village straight to the drinking well in the center of the village. She turned around and watched a big white dog chasing a screaming explosives expert towards her. She couldn't contain her laughter anymore and just tumbled over laughing.

*333*

That's it! I hope you enjoyed this late chapter! I want you to know I am back and will have stories up soon as soon as i make a schedule to update stories. When that happens I'll let you all know the updates : ) Let me know whatcha think. Plus I am in need of some prompts for future chapters. If you have any please post them in the review. I will gladly consider them and try to make them into something enjoyable!


	18. Newcomers in Town

**I would like to address something that was brought to my attention by a reviewer. This story was not meant to be an exact portrayal of Kagome's personality. This was meant to be something to make me laugh as well as my wonderful readers. Yes there are serious moments such as chapter twelve. **

**What's not a good story when you have someone hurting and learning from their pain and mistakes? She still has aspects of her original character in there. She is loving, willing to help others (which led her to receive this job which is shown within the next few chapters), courageous, clumsy, reckless, knowledgeable, emotional and most of all compassionate. It just hasn't been shown those characteristics just yet. **

**I do appreciate your constructive criticism as well as your wonderful reviews. You might not know this but we as authors get a high of sorts just reading such wonderful things you write to us. Personally it makes me get up in the internet café doing my happy dance. When that happens I get stared at like an idiot. So I embarrass myself for the sake of the joy you give me as an author. So please continue your wonderful words. **

**Since I have bored you with my Author's Note. I'll continue with the next chapter.**

Questionable Content

Chapter 18: Newcomers in Town.

Edo is a very small village that was located at the edge of a forest. The only real excitement these people had been during the annual festivals. This is what the explosion master walked into when he joined the traveling companions.

It's the time of the Great Festival of the summer. Many of the huts were decorated with the traditional paper lanterns and streamers. The well was covered with a variety of flowers that represented the meaning of this festival.

"Kagome", called Deidara, "What is this festival for?"

Kagome looked up and smiled brightly. She skipped up to him and looped her arm through his.

"This is a celebration of the origins of the village! It was around this time that the first family built their hut and with each new family member born more people visited and joined. Soon it became a thriving village with continual markets and business from visiting patrons. So that is what we are celebrating!"

Kagome said all of this while walking the man to her mother's home to feed him since it was around lunch time. Sesshoumaru already left them to find his parents and eat with them. He was also gathering his belongings so he can make his stay with the Akatsuki an extended one.

Mrs. Higurashi cooked a feast for her daughter and her friend. She made sure that they wouldn't starve. So when they were finished with their meal she sent them out having Kagome escort Deidara around telling him stories about what goes on in the town and introduce him to her friends.

So that is what she did. She did all of this and more. She showed him her old hiding places where she would go to get some alone time. She wasn't always a people person and when she needed her time alone she went to these areas. He laughed at her jokes and held her when sadness filled her eyes in the stories she told. Altogether she was glad he came with her.

**It is back! Please read, enjoy and review. **

**This shall be on a schedule from now on. The schedule is located in my biography. So check it out. Until then Caoi**


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